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Opportunity: A narrative from Ms. Gimply’s collection
My room mate, Eileen, was away for the weekend with her boyfriend. Of course, I was jealous. I always told her that I didn’t know how she managed to attract and keep a man since she was a high level para and completely dependent on her wheelchair. She isn’t that good looking, either, but I don’t tell her that. Anyway, she always seems to have a guy around.
Now I have a bit better shape than she does and probably am a bit prettier. I don’t need a wheelchair, either, as I can get around on crutches. Of course my Spina Bifida gives me a shuffling gait that is not sexy to look at. I have to wear a diaper for security when I am out for any length of time. Either that, or I have to stop drinking liquid hours before I go anywhere unprotected. No wonder I can’t get a guy.
Eileen laughs at me and says I have no idea what some guys will put up with or even like. She tells me that my crotch probably works better than hers anyway. (Eileen can be very crude.) She laughs that she can’t get an orgasm anywhere below her boobs and that I should be able to get off in the right place even if I make a mess. She says it’s a matter of attitude and being open to opportunities that present themselves.
In the first place, she says, a girl should always carry condoms and a tube of KY jelly. Condoms will repel both diseases and babies. Girls like us should be careful of both of those things. The jelly will make up for imperfections in the workings of the crotch. (I told you she was crude.) It can also be used in all sort of creative games. (She didn’t say what those games might be.)
I admired Eileen’s frankness and daring. I don’t know she had shed her inhibitions or if she ever had any in the first place. I had grown up sheltered from all consideration of sexuality. My mother had dutifully discussed menstruation when the time came but never anything else. I guess the unspoken assumption was that the disabled daughter would necessarily be tragically and eternally chaste.
My first experience of sex was with a gimpy dork from the special school. (I’m not complaining about the gimp part, but the dork issue was a serious drawback.) We had schemed for weeks to find a place and time. Finally he bribed his room mates to stay away during study time and I sneaked to the boys wing of the dorm. The kissing was fun but then he started to grope under my panties and protective pads. He began to groan. I couldn’t think of anything to groan about but I went along with it. I felt his finger inside me. It felt wonderful and terrible all at the same time. I almost told him to stop.
His pants were down and he started to undress me too. He ejaculated all over my leg before he got very far. Then he began to cry and say he was sorry and that I was wonderful. I was wet and sticky and half undressed. I could only think of escape. I rearranged myself as well as I could and sneaked out without getting caught.
I wondered if I was really still a virgin since only his finger had been inside me. I didn’t know anyone to ask. I wish I had known Eileen in those days. I did ask her years later when I told her about the dork. She almost fell out of her chair laughing.
Eventually, I figured out from books and magazines how things worked. By trial and error I learned to masturbate. Some of the time, unless I had planned ahead and avoided liquid, I peed into my hand when my climax came. It felt good but I was glad that I was alone when it happened. My further experience with boys was limited and I continued to attract dorks. It never got better than the first time.
Anyway, that’s the way things stood when Eileen was away for the weekend. I decided that I would take the bull by the horns and get condoms and jelly and look for the opportunities that she insisted were everywhere. As I left the building, I greeted the guy who was working on a landscaping project in front. He was tall and dark. His muscles rippled every time he lifted the shovel he was wielding. He was a hunk. (Eileen would say that he is do-able.) He smiled and said “Hi.” and kept at his work.
Walgreen’s was a few blocks away. As I entered, I wondered how I was going to buy the things I wanted without being noticed. I had scouted out the condoms and KY jelly many times before but I didn’t halkalı escort want just to head directly there as if that was where I wanted to go. Instead, I picked up some aspirin and a bag of hard candy. I slowly circled the target area. I picked up a package of tampons. Then I put them back because I didn’t want the cashier to notice how much attention I was paying to my crotch. (Now I am starting to sound like Eileen.) I arrived at my destination and quickly picked up the things I had decided on long before.
I put my purchases down at the cash register. The cashier didn’t even look up as she rang them up. They must be trained to be discrete like that. I wondered if she would joke about it with the other employees after I left. In any case, the deed was done. I put my things into my shoulder bag and I escaped out the door.
The weather had taken a turn. The sky was dark and the wind was gusting. I hurried as fast as my crutches would carry me but still had a block to go when the rain started to come in sheets. I was instantly soaked and dripped the rest of the way home. The landscape guy had retreated to his truck to wait out the storm. The sudden rain had soaked the newly turned soil and washed a thick sheet of mud across the sidewalk. I stepped carefully on the mud but my feet were immediately out from under me. I hit the ground and slid about three feet. I said a word I had learned from Eileen. I tried to position my crutches to get up and slipped again. Tears came.
I looked up to see the landscape hunk sprinting in my direction. “Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yes,” I told him through the tears, “But I’m stranded like a whale on the beach.” He reached down to lift me and he slipped, too, and was beside me on the sidewalk. I started to laugh. He managed to right himself and then lift me to standing position. He supported me with one arm and retrieved my bag and crutches with the other. Now two of us were covered with mud. And by now we were both laughing.
He accompanied me to the door and said “Will you be alright now?”
“Yes. Thanks a lot.” I said. “I have a washer and dryer at my place. Come in and we’ll take care of your clothes.” I screwed up my courage and added “I have condoms, too.” I hoped my voice was not too shaky.
He smiled. “I need to clean up this mess first. It should only take a few minutes now that the rain has stopped.” I told him the apartment number.
I made my way in a daze. I thought of Eileen and how pleased she would be with me. I also thought about how mad the building super was going to be when he found the trail of mud in the hallway and elevator. He already resented having the accessible apartments in the building. He thought they were extra work.
Once in the door, I shed my wet and muddy clothes by the washer. Naked in the bathroom, I discarded the dreaded diaper into the container and sat down to empty as much as I could.
I headed to my bedroom and put the packet of condoms and the tube of jelly on the night table. I pulled a robe from my closet and put it on. After a minute I took it off again. I think that’s what Eileen would have done. I combed my hair back and tied it and headed naked back to the bathroom just in case. As I passed the thermostat I turned it up a few degrees.
I wondered if my guy would come. Even if he didn’t I would have a story for Eileen. The buzzer sounded and I pushed the button to let him in. I unlocked my door and then I panicked. What should I do next? I was naked as the day I was born and a strange man was coming. I fled to the washing machine then heard his knock at the door. “Come in,” I called “it’s open” When I heard the door open and close I said “Lock the door behind you, please, and come in here to the washer.”
He found me naked and casually putting my clothes into the machine. “Put yours in here too,” I said with only a sidelong glance. “It won’t take very long.” Now we were both naked and we looked directly at each other. He eyed me up and down. I almost didn’t dare to look below his chest which had tight little ringlets of hair. But, I stole a few glances down and could see that he was not circumcised.
I said “Look, you don’t have to do this unless you want to. With my damned spinal condition taksim escort I might even pee on you by accident.” He smiled and reached out and very gently stroked the side of my breast just by the armpit. My whole body melted. If I had not been so careful, I think I would have wet myself on the spot. This guy was definitely not a dork!
I dropped my crutches and drew him to me. The tip of my tongue traced the ringlets on his chest. He smelled and tasted of dirt and sweat. Then I raised my face and received his tongue between my lips. We stayed that way for a long time until I said “We need to shower.” He supported me again while he retrieved my crutches from the floor.
I led the way and sat down in the shower chair that I shared with Eileen. It is like a toilet seat with an open front set into a metal frame with wheels. (Of course, Eileen calls it our crotch washer.) I wheeled into the large shower stall and he followed. I turned on the water and he took the removable shower head in his hand. He sprayed himself all over and then turned the water on me. I untied my hair and washed it while he soaped and scrubbed his upper body. He rinsed himself and then my hair.”You can wash the parts of me that you can reach,” he said and handed me the shower head.
“Turn around,” I ordered. I wasn’t quite ready to deal with him frontally. I had still been keeping my eyes averted as much as I could. I soaped and scrubbed his tight buttocks. I let my hands linger longer than they needed to just to get the washing done. I could reach most of his legs from my chair. He obligingly raised one foot at a time so I could wash them too.
Only the inevitable remained. He slowly turned to face me. His penis was fully erect. I soaped and stroked his testicles and then let my hands work on his penis. I washed its whole length. When I reached the tip, it was his turn to melt. He made a little moan and said, “Wait, Hon, wait for the finish.”
He took the soap and washcloth from me and began to wash and massage my shoulders from behind. I leaned forward in my chair and he continued down my back to my buttocks. He kept at it, working on my muscles one at a time, undoing all the tightness that comes from walking with crutches on legs that don’t quite go where they are supposed to. I decided on the spot that even if I never saw him again, I would find someone to do that to my back. He sat me upright in the chair and soaped my chest and my belly. His fingers found that special place on my breast and lingered there. Then he showed me that the other breast was just as sensitive. I couldn’t imagine that it could ever get better. He knelt in front of me and turned his attention to my feet and my legs. I don’t much sensation below my thighs, but I could feel his gentle pressure and it exited me even more.
There was only one thing left. I can’t bring myself to use Eileen’s language to tell about it. His soapy hand slipped under the open seat and washed quickly and deftly. His finger slipped in and out of my anus. When he had washed his hand again, he repeated with my vagina. After gently scrubbing with the cloth, his bare hand returned and almost instantly found the magic spot that had taken me so long to discover. He slowly circled his finger in exactly the right place.
Still kneeling, He put his other hand behind my head and drew my mouth to his. His tongue played inside my mouth in the same rhythm as his finger in my magic place.
I felt like a wave was going to break over me and I began to moan. When I did, his hand slowed and his finger moved away from the place. At he same time he sucked my tongue into his mouth and roughly circled it around. “Don’t stop,” I moaned and his finger came back and his tongue again played in my mouth. My ecstasy rose to an even higher pitch. When an even bigger wave seemed about to break he slowed again. I couldn’t object.
He repeated once again and I had no will left. The wave seemed even bigger and then it broke but only when he wanted it to. I shuddered and cried. His tongue went deep into my mouth and I sucked it even deeper. The waves continued to break, but a bit smaller each time. His hand between my legs slowed and stopped. I was quivering. I was sure that I couldn’t stand or walk and I didn’t care. I probably had şişli escort peed on his hand, but in the shower it didn’t matter.
In a shaky voice I told him where the towels were. He dried himself and then wrapped me in a huge bath towel. I said “I can’t possibly walk.” He lifted me and I dreamily directed him to my bedroom. He laid me on the bed.
I found a condom and unwrapped it with shaky hands. I sat up and rolled it onto him. I handed him the tube of KY and said, “I’m not sure that I make enough lubrication to do this comfortably and easily. Please use this to make sure.” Then I lay on my back and opened the front of the towel. With my hands I pulled my knees up and shamelessly spread my legs as far apart as they would go. Slowly, he coated a finger with the jelly and urged it into my vagina and began gently to massage. He used more jelly and I think he had three fingers inside me. I felt wonderfully full and yearned for more.
He said “Now it should be nice for you.” He covered me with his body and I felt him slowly coming into me. He kept looking at my face and stopped when he thought he might be hurting me. When I was used to it I would say “More” and the fullness would increase. I had never imagined that I had so much room inside me.
When I felt his pubic bone touch my special spot, he said “Now, you’re in charge. Let your tongue tell me what to do. When it comes into my mouth, I will come into you. When you pull your tongue back I will pull back from you.”
I was surprised and embarrassed. I had no idea what to do. I thrust my tongue deep into his mouth and I felt his pressure on my spot. Then I slowly pulled my tongue back an I felt him follow. I was afraid that he was going to come out and, too quickly, I thrust my tongue back deep in his mouth. His thrust was sharp and took me by surprise. I cried out. “You’re in charge,” he repeated. “Just take it easy.”
I found the right rhythm and let him withdraw almost completely and then slowly drew him in until I felt his pubic bone again. I experimented with faster and slower moves until the pleasure was about equally exquisite on thrust, withdrawal and the delicious collision in between. I don’t know how long we were at it but I felt the waves begin to build again and I moaned. He said softly “Now I’m in charge again.”
He had picked up my rhythm perfectly. But now he began to vary it. He slowed a bit when I wanted it faster and the wave subsided. I didn’t plead this time – I knew what he was doing. The waves came again and again, building higher each time. I drew his ear to my lips and whispered, “Please come when I do.” He started to moan a bit, too and to gasp. I continued to whisper, “Bring me when you’re ready.” I knew from his motion that he was about to explode and he let my wave build to its final crash when he did. I think I actually screamed but I can’t be sure. I didn’t worry about the neighbors I didn’t even bother to wonder about an accident.
He continued to come in and out slowly although he didn’t seem as big as before. Shivers kept passing through my body. Then he slowly withdrew and carefully removed the condom and dried himself on my towel. He laid his head on my breast and kissed my nipples. His hand rested casually between my legs and his fingers explored. The little shivers continued to come but gradually subsided.
Eventually he said, “I do need to get back to work.” I told him how to set the dryer for his clothes. When he finished he came back and sat on the side of the bed. We exchanged names. I told him it had never been like that for me. He said that I was trying to flatter him and that I was obviously a woman of experience. I gave up trying to convince him and let him stroke the sweet place on my breast.
When his clothes were dry and he had retrieved my crutches, I walked him to the door. I was still naked except for the towel I had wrapped around my waist. We embraced and kissed. His fingers went to my breast for a moment and then he was gone.
I locked the door behind him and lingered there. Then I made my way to the couch and sat down. Would he come back? Was he telling his buddies that he had nailed a cripple? Was he telling them that I was any good in bed? Or good in the shower? I had no idea.
I started to giggle. Then I laughed so long and so hard that I felt I had to wrap my arms tightly around my chest just just to hold myself together. I made sure the towel would protect the couch.
After a while the waves of laughter subsided. When I thought I was calm enough to talk coherently I picked up the phone. I giggled only a little bit as I punched Eileen’s cell number on the speed dial.
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