Further Down The Rabbit Hole

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One of the things I discovered about myself from Bryan was that I had little interest in guys at or near my age. I discovered I was attracted to guys older than myself. Bryan was eighteen years my senior at forty-three. The more time I spent as Bryan’s property, I realized this about myself. I would meet the occasional guy closer to my age and I just found I wasn’t interested. There were a couple of guys that Bryan would have me give blowjobs to but I never responded to any advances at dating those guys.Another thing I learned about myself is guys loved my butt. My tiny butt received all the attention from men. Once I realized this, I started to wear clothes that showed off my best feature. I choose shorter and tighter shorts when working out. I liked those skintight bike shorts when I could find them in XS size. I had a pair of denim shorts that I cut very short. Those shorts always grabbed attention when I was shopping, doing laundry, or doing the day-to-day activities.I responded to Bryan’s dominance of me and I desired to make him happy and nothing else. I discovered that I felt natural being dominated and submissive. The more he demanded from me, the more I responded positively.It may have been because of my upbringing. My parents were very strict with the girls. Not with my brothers. We girls went to school and had to return home immediately after school each day. We did chores and had limited free time. My father ruled the house. My upbringing was very controlled and structured. I assume this played some role in me being attracted to older dominant men. I think my upbringing normalized it in my subconscious mind.Bryan began discussing with me his desire for command, control, and obedience.  Over and over he would discuss complete command, complete control, and complete obedience.  He discussed his expectations including my failures to meet his standard would result in punishment.  As in the past, when Bryan’s talked, he just told me what was going to happen he güvenilir bahis did not offer me a choice in the matter. He talked for great length about what each of the categories meant and how my failures would be dealt with. He expected total devotion.One night, he brought a framed sheet of paper which he mounted on the wall right below where my whip was mounted on the wall just outside my bedroom. He placed it at eye-level as if I was kneeling facing the wall. He had been teaching me the proper positions and postures of a submissive. Kneeling in the “Nadu” position at that location I would be looking directly at the picture frame.Anyone entering my apartment their eyes would no doubt be directed at the whip hanging on the wall and a picture frame beneath it.Printed on the paper was what would become my mantra. My mantra was six short paragraphs discussing acceptance, obedience, devotion, my role as property, my purpose for existence. My purpose being I was born to please men and women. Bryan said that some will want to use my holes, some will want to whip me. My purpose was to please them however they choose. This was my purpose.I was instructed that each morning and each night I would begin and end each day kneeling in Nadu position under my whip and I would read aloud my mantra. I was also told that each time I entered my bedroom, every day before I did so, I was to kneel and read my mantra. There were to be no exceptions. Since I stayed naked inside my apartment at all times, the requirement to do so naked would be the easy part.Part of Bryan’s control included he wanted me to drop a few pounds. I am five feet almost two inches. I am a long-distance runner. Bryan decided I should not weigh more than ninety-nine pounds. This required that I lose between three and five pounds. I last weighed under one hundred pounds when I was nineteen. I had not gained much weight in the years since high school. Maybe at most, I weighed five pounds more when at my heaviest. My body güvenilir bahis siteleri had not changed much since high school. I had taken to long-distance running and felt those few added pounds were muscle. I knew losing three pounds or so was going to be difficult. Most people I knew always told me I was too skinny. I was already on a strict protein low carbohydrate diet set by Bryan. This concerned me but I knew I had to make this sacrifice for Bryan.Bryan required that my time away from work was accounted for. He had me increase my days from two days a week to three days a week working as the lingerie model at the bars. Those shifts were all after my regular job at the construction office. If I wasn’t at work I was working out or running it seemed. I ran a minimum of thirty miles each week. Bryan was keeping me busy. I liked being responsible for him and being held to his standard.One of my lingerie coworkers approached me about a side job. She said two girls and myself would work a party serving drinks. We would do so in our lingerie from the shows. One of the girls was going to be the bartender and I and the other girl were going to walk around the crowd with trays of drinks. Once Bryan gave his okay. That Friday after work, I met the girls and they drove to the house. It was a large house up in the Fremont Hills. We were instructed to arrive early and bring several outfits because the couple having the party wanted to choose what each girl would wear. The food was catered and there was lots of activity in the house when we arrived. The husband and wife, a couple in their mid-forties, took us girls into the living area and had us strip right there. Workers were milling about. We each tried on several outfits for them with both choosing what they liked and disliked on each girl. They decided since I was so flat-chested my butt and legs were my best assets. They choose for me a thong micro bikini cut bottom with a loose-fitting camisole as a top. That iddaa siteleri with some moderate heels made my outfit. The wife said since my nipples were so large she desired them on display and the sheer material of the camisole clearly did that. Any slight bending over or even a breeze and my chest was fully exposed. The couple said that many of their guests might get “handsy” but not to complain and we would be paid well. The party was attended by about sixty to seventy people, men, and women. All three of us girls worked hard keeping the drinks flowing. There were some comments and the occasional touch here and there but mostly the evening was uneventful and exciting. My name that night was Nipples, as many seemed fascinated by them. I heard many times, “Where’s Nipples with my drink?”We were paid very well also.Somehow my working the lingerie show bar job had gotten back to my family. My parents pretty much cut me off after hearing I was doing these shows. One sister still talked to me. She told me to just let time pass and hopefully, they would forgive me. I was becoming more reliant on Bryan and even more isolated from my family and friends.Bryan bought me a music player to use while running. He selected music for me to listen to at home and while running. These songs, he told me, had subliminal messages embedded, teaching me to accept his control of me. He often would have me listen to the songs at night while sleeping. These songs were all I was allowed to listen to. They were all rather long instrumental tunes played in a continuous loop.Another demand Bryan insisted on was he wanted me to have no tan lines. He arranged and took me to his friend’s Steve home a short distance from my apartment.  Steve lived in a single-family house on a cul-de-sac. Each house had a six-foot wood fence around the rear property which is the norm in California. Steve lived alone and had an in-ground swimming pool in his backyard. We arrived at the house and entered the backyard through a side gate. Upon closing the gate Bryan ordered me to strip naked. He had me hang my clothes on a hook. Bryan said I was never allowed clothes beyond the gate, that was the deal he arranged with Steve. I followed Bryan into the backyard.

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