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I bawled driving home from Dad’s; I haven’t cried like that since I was a little girl. I must have looked like a complete mess—I was glad to find Courtney, my roommate, wasn’t in. I locked myself in the bathroom when I got home. I brushed my teeth and rinsed with antiseptic mouthwash trying to get that tang of my dad’s cum out of my mouth, but the taste kept coming back. Maybe the lingering sensation was just psychological. I’m sure that’s what my counselor would have told me, but she won’t because she’ll never hear about it.
I ran a hot bath, putting plenty of bubble bath and bath beads in. I slipped out of my jeans and as I unbuttoned my blouse, I couldn’t help but notice the wet streaks of cum down the front. I threw the blouse down and stepped into the bath. It was too hot, but I forced myself into the heat welcoming the burn.
I wanted to relax, to forget, but I couldn’t. I felt electrified. There was a pressure behind my eyes. It was an unpleasant feeling. It wasn’t normal. I felt like I had been taken over, possessed, from the first moment I touched my dad’s penis. I didn’t feel like myself and I couldn’t shake the strange feeling. I caught myself looking at the cum stains on my blouse where it lay on the bathroom floor. I willed myself to look away, but I found myself looking at it again and remembering the sensation of my dad’s flesh filling my mouth and my fear as he forcefully pounded into my throat making me gag and almost vomit.
Finally, I gave up on relaxing and stepped out of the tub, feeling too keyed-up to stay still. I grabbed by clothes off the floor and buried them in my laundry basket where my roommate wouldn’t see the cum stains, and where I wouldn’t have to look at them.
I found a fresh pair of slacks and stepped into them, looked through my tops but couldn’t decide, looked in the mirror, and, feeling dissatisfied, took off the slacks and put on an above-the-knee black skirt, matching it with a peach top with spaghetti straps. I looked in the mirror and felt better; all the right areas of my body were accentuated.
I dug in my purse for my phone and checked to see if anyone had tried to call. I half expected to see my dad’s number, thinking he might have called to apologize for what he did to me, but his number wasn’t there. Then I felt a touch of anger as I pictured him on his bed, totally relaxed after cumming in my mouth, and not even thinking about me.
I saw that my boyfriend, Justin, had called, and there was a voice mail. I noticed his call had come through around the time I had been with Dad, causing a flutter of guilt in my chest. I hit the call back button without bothering to listen to the message.
“Hey, Misty,” came his voice.
“Justin,” I was trying to sound cheerful but I could tell I was failing miserably, “I want you to take me out tonight.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was trying to call you about. Did you get my message? Terrance is having a thing at his place. It should be getting started already. It’ll be fun.”
“No, no, no, I can’t do that tonight. I don’t feel like hanging. I want to go out, just you and me. Take me to the Jungle. I need to dance tonight.” The Jungle was a dance club. I knew Justin hated dancing, but I felt the need to work off my tension.
“Yeah, okay, I’ll pick you up in a few.” I could tell he was disappointed, but I used the tone with him. He knew what that meant. Usually I like to please. That’s who I am, so I adapt to what he wants, but occasionally, I get in a mood, and when he hears the tone, he knows I’m going to get what I want, so there’s no use in arguing.
The Jungle was just what I needed. It was dark and loud and crammed with dancing bodies. I think Justin was shocked, because I’m usually so shy and don’t like to draw attention to myself, but on this night, I danced with a wild frenzy fueled by Rum and Cokes. He tried his best to keep up with me as I writhed and ground on him cravenly. I saw men giving me looks. I usually hate that, but in this strange mood, it excited me. I’m sure Justin saw. I wanted him to.
By the time we left, I was more than ready for some release. We went back to my place and luckily, Courtney was out, probably at her boyfriend’s. I dragged Justin by the hand to my bedroom and immediately went for his pants and got down on my knees in front of him.
“Oh yeah! I want your big cock in my mouth right now.” I looked up at him smiling.
He looked excited as I grabbed his penis and guided him into my mouth. I sucked and licked until he was rock hard.
“I want you to cum in my mouth. Do you want to?” I had sucked on him a few times before but never let him cum in my mouth before this.
“Yeah . . .” is all he said. He wasn’t used to me being so sexually assertive; I’m sure he was more than a little surprised.
“Fuck me in my mouth, okay? Just ram me as hard as you want until you cum.” I opened my mouth with my tongue out.
He stepped forward tentatively, “are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ve been a bad halkalı escort girl. Now you need to punish me. Make me swallow your cum. Do it!” I grabbed his ass and pulled him forward taking his head in my mouth. I looked up at him expectantly, waiting.
Justin thrust into my mouth slowly. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself expecting him to start pounding my mouth like my dad had done to me, but instead, he was very gentle, thrusting in and out slowly, carefully.
I dug my fingernails into his ass cheeks, trying to give him the message, but when that didn’t work, I forced myself forward until I felt him in my throat and I started gagging. I tried to relax my throat and force him down further, but I just gagged harder.
“Are you okay?” he asked with concern.
I pulled my mouth off his cock, giving him a disappointed look. “Fine! If you’re not man enough to fuck my mouth, then just fuck me.” I got up and bent over the bed. “Fuck me hard this time. Pound me. You need to punish me with your cock! Give me your cock Daddy!”
He pulled up my skirt, yanked down my panties and slapped my butt with his hand. It felt good. In an instant he was inside of me and pounding fast, just like I wanted.
“Harder! Faster!” I taunted.
“Oh Daddy! Fuck me Daddy! Fuck me hard!” I squealed at him.
He did as he was told and I built up quickly until I came in waves of beautiful wonderful contractions. “Oh God! You’re making me cum Daddy, you’re making me cum!”
My saying it seemed to make Justin climax too. I felt him release in me with a groan, then he pulled out slowly.
I sat up on the bed, satisfied. I smiled at Justin. I thought he must have just had the thrill of his life. I’d never been so kinky with him before. “Did you like that?” I asked.
To my surprise, Justin frowned at me as he pulled his pants back on. “What was all that ‘Daddy'” stuff about? That was weird.”
“What do you mean ‘weird’?” Now I was incensed. “I thought you’d like it, so what?”
“I’m not into that. It makes me think you have a thing for your dad. It’s kind of a turn off, you know. And, what was that crap about me not being man enough to fuck your mouth? Where did that come from? So, are you a masochist with a father fantasy now? Tell me the truth Misty—were you fantasizing about your old man when I was fucking you?”
My hand was open, but when I hit his face, it hit hard and he wasn’t expecting that. He stumbled and hit the wall. His face was red.
I didn’t bother looking for my shoes or my panties. I just left barefoot and slammed the door behind me. As I was pulling out of the driveway, I realized I had left him in my own apartment, but I wasn’t about to go back, I just drove off without a plan.
I drove aimlessly, raging at his accusations. Then, as my anger ebbed, I became fearful that somehow I had given away what had happened between me and Victor. Did Justin somehow know or did he guess at my feelings? I tried to convince myself he couldn’t have known, how could he, after all? He must have been jealous because of the other men at the club watching me. Maybe he was just mad because I told him he wasn’t man enough. In any case, I knew I didn’t want to see him or talk to him. Maybe never again.
I had been driving on auto-pilot and now I realized I was driving toward my dad’s house. I kept on that route. I could sleep in my old bedroom, I decided.
Then, my mind turned on what had happened between me and my dad that afternoon. Did he start it or I? I wasn’t sure. I know I touched him in a way I shouldn’t have, but why did he have an erection to begin with? I could only think that my dad was sexually aroused by me when I hugged him, yet, at the same time, I didn’t want to blame him after all his grief and his loneliness. Over the past couple years, his grief was so deep and dark it overwhelmed me to see it. I felt like crying every time I saw him. It affected me somehow very deep in my heart, took something away from me, like there was shadow over me as long as his grief continued. Still, I thought, it wasn’t right for him to be aroused by me so easily. I think I was looking for a way to blame him because, if I had started it, there must be something about me. Why did I decide to start stroking my dad’s penis, why didn’t I just get out and leave? I couldn’t face that question just yet. Justin’s accusation still haunted me.
I was still in this frame of mind, going back and forth between pity and anger, when I arrived at the house. It occurred to me to go immediately to Victor’s room and confront him, but then I thought I would just let him sleep and sneak into my old bed.
I let myself in, since I still had the key. I was surprised to find him awake sitting in his chair in the living room next a lamp. He had a glass of milk on the end table next to him. When he saw me, he quickly put the box he had on his lap down on the şişli escort floor and pushed it to the side. I knew what it was. It was his Box of Grief, pictures of Mom and of all of us from when she was alive. He liked to pour over them, nursing his broken heart.
“Misty . . .”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in on you. I thought you’d be asleep.”
“No, couldn’t sleep, probably because I sleep all day, as you like to point out to me.”
“Sorry Dad. I sort of just had a fight with Justin. I thought maybe I could just sleep here for tonight. If that’s okay with you I mean.”
“Of course, you can always come here. Is everything okay? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m okay, but I don’t know about him and me. It was kind of bad. We’ve never fought like that before.” I sat down on the sofa, facing him. “I think it might be over. I don’t know.”
“Did he hit you?”
“No Dad. No, he’s never hit me. But, I kind of slapped him, I guess, but he didn’t hit me back.”
“Well, you’re okay. That’s the important thing. Just put it out of your mind Misty, and rest here tonight. Worrying about it’s not going to change a thing. Leave the worrying for tomorrow” He produced a glass flask from the pocket of his robe and poured some amber liquid into his milk. He got up and came back from the kitchen with a glass he handed to me. I took a sip it was whiskey and coke.
“Misty,” he said gravely, “we need to talk. I have been meditating on what happened between us today. It was a very powerful and unexpected thing.” He was speaking very slowly and deliberately. “I’ve been quite worried about you. Worried about how you might be reacting to this. I think we really need to consider that both of us have not been in anything like a normal or healthy state of mind. It has been a very emotional time and sometimes strong emotions lead people to do things they normally wouldn’t. As you know, I have been very seriously depressed of late, and I deeply appreciate your care and help through this time, but now I realize, that you too have been impacted by my depression. I want to say to you Misty, that I am truly sorry that I did not see what you have been going through.”
I hate when my father talks to me like that. I feel like I’m being talked down to and told what to think. My anger came back to me quickly and when the words came out I was yelling, “I wish you thought about that a year ago when I was doing your laundry and cleaning the house and you were totally ignoring me. You know I didn’t want to move out. I had too! I had no choice. I couldn’t take it anymore!”
“You have every right to be angry with me Misty. I have been very selfish. But I see that now, I want to . . .”
“I know what you want to do with me! Don’t even! I’ve cared for you and cared for you since Mom died. I’ve worried about you every day for two years, trying to get you to feel better and all you do is ignore me! You’ve totally ignored me until . . . until . . .” I tried to stop it but I couldn’t. It welled up from deep inside me as unstoppable as the tide. It started tears and gasps. I was trembling uncontrollably, I was so upset.
I was standing over him now. “Calm down Misty, sit down, let’s talk it through. You’re angry. I know.”
“Yes I’m angry! Don’t tell me how I feel!” I sat on the floor in front of him, crying, trying to get my words out. “You never call, you never ask me how I’m doing, you just don’t care about me at all. Not until I touched you . . . you liked it when I touched your . . . your penis . . . didn’t you!”
“It’s complicated, Sweetie. I want to talk to you about it . . .”
“I know you liked it Dad! I’m not stupid! That’s the only reason you’re talking to me now! Suddenly you care about me after I let you cum in my mouth! Is that what it takes?” Tears were coving my face now. “All I ever wanted was to be part of your life. If I suck on you, will you pay attention to me again?” I sobbed as I talked, “I’ll let you do it to me Daddy . . . fuck me . . . in my mouth . . . I’ll let you Daddy”
He shook his head at me, but I ignored him. I slipped my hand up his robe. He wasn’t wearing anything under it. I quickly found his penis. He tried to brush my hand away but I would let him. He was already getting hard.
“Please don’t do this Misty. We should just talk about it first.”
“Why are you hard Daddy? Why are you hard if it’s not true? You want me. You want to pound your cock down my throat again don’t you? It’s okay. Go ahead, do it to me right now.” I was stroking his erection now. I pulled it out from his robe. He was completely aroused.
“Fuck my mouth Daddy. Make me choke on you. I want you to cum down my throat again. I can take it. Just take it all out on me. Pound me. Get it out of your system. I’ll take it for you Daddy. Then you’ll feel better. You won’t be sad anymore. Please Daddy, cum in my mouth again, will you please?”
“Misty, Sweetie, let’s talk about it first.” He sarıyer escort pulled my hand off his cock.
“That’s what you did to me!” I was angry again, but still crying. “You fucked my mouth. You just fucked me and fucked me even when I was gagging. I couldn’t breath and you just kept fucking my mouth harder and pounding your dick in my throat! In my throat, Daddy! While I was choking! You just kept fucking me and fucking me so hard! Why did you do that to me Daddy?” Now I was sobbing again, out of control. But, I didn’t even care anymore.
“Come here Sweetie.” He pulled me up off the floor. I climbed up on his lap like I was a little girl again. I sat sideways across his lap, next to his hard naked cock. He hugged me tight and I sobbed in his arms.
“I hadn’t been touched by a woman for a very very long time Sweetie. When you touched me the way you did, you woke up something very primal in me. What I did to you came from years of pent up sexual needs. But, you know what Princess? You could have stopped me anytime you wanted. You know that don’t you?”
I nodded. I knew he was right, even though it was hard for me to admit it.
“You were so brave the way you just kept taking it. Even when you were gagging, you didn’t back away an inch. You let me. You let me unleash all my tension, all my sexual frustrations in that pretty mouth of yours.
“You did it for me. I know that Sweetie. I know you did it because you love me, not because you wanted to. It was hard for you. I could see that. You know what I think? I think you gave me a wonderful, beautiful gift, the most precious gift anyone has ever given me. Is that true Sweetie?”
“Yes, Daddy. I love you Daddy.” My tears started streaming again.
“I love you too Sweetie.”
“Is it okay for me to touch you now?” I asked.
I gently massaged the head of his penis, wetting my palm with his precum, like he showed me how to do, then I made a circle of my hand and stroked up and down his aroused organ.
He moved his hand from my shoulder and gently brushed his fingers over the contour of my breast. My dad had never touched my breasts before my life. I had a shock of revulsion and excitement, but I didn’t show it outwardly, I don’t think. I didn’t move and I didn’t stop him. I just continued to stroke him.
“Is it okay if I touch you there Sweetie?” he finally asked, looking at me, his hand caressing the underside of my breast.
“Yes, Daddy.” I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was someone else’s hand on me, but I couldn’t. I knew it was my dad.
He slipped his hand under my top. I shuddered when his hand made contact with my bare breast. My heart was racing. He massaged my flesh. The touch of my dad’s hand on me made me feel gross. It felt so deeply wrong. But, I did nothing to stop him. I stroked him while he found my nipple and pinched it gingerly, pulling at it. I felt a jolt of pleasure from it. I was already erect before he touched me. I turned my head away from him, feeling ashamed–ashamed that my dad was touching me and ashamed that the more he touched me, the more I liked it.
He pulled at my top, pulling it over my breasts. I raised my arms for him and he pulled it off completely, throwing it on the floor. I felt completely exposed. I couldn’t bear to look at him, but I knew he was staring at my nakedness as he started touching me with both hands now.
We sat there in silence as I pleasured him and he caressed and played with my naked flesh.
“I’m getting close now,” he said finally.
“Do you want it in my mouth yet Daddy?”
“Not yet Sweetie.”
His hand moved down my body and down my skirt until he came to the hem and I felt his open hand press against the inside of my thigh. I was breathing hard now. My legs tensed and I pushed my thighs together. “Dad? What are you doing?” I asked with alarm.
He said nothing, but he forced his hand further between my clenched thighs. I desperately did not want to feel my father’s hand on my sex. It would be too foul a feeling. I already felt so very dirty and used and depraved. I did not want to feel that kind of pleasure from my father’s fingers.
“Dad, please no, please no!” I pleaded.
I was wet between my thighs. Justin’s semen had seeped out of me at some point. I felt my dad’s hand reach into the wet spot. “Oh God Daddy, Oh God, no.” A sudden excitement shot through me when the tips of his fingers caressed the length of my labia. I shuddered. “Oh no, oh no, oh Daddy, please Daddy.” But I felt overwhelmed. I stopped resisting and parted my legs so he could have his way with me. I moaned in despair and surrender.
But, to my surprise, he pulled his hand away. I felt a twinge of disappointment, but also relief. “Thank you Daddy. I can’t, I just can’t do that. I’m so sorry Daddy.”
“It’s okay Princess. I didn’t know you weren’t wearing any underwear.”
“Do you want to cum in my mouth Daddy?”
“Yes Princess. Let’s do it on your bed. Is that okay?”
He stood up with me in his arms and carried me cradled in front of him. My hand never left his cock, and I continued to pleasure him as he carried me to my bed.
He lay me down gingerly, fatherly, like he did when I was young. He pulled the blankets up to my chest, but leaving my naked breasts exposed.
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