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Editor’s note: this story contains scenes of incest or incest content.
This is a sequel to “Guilty Christmas Lights” but it can be read independently or this one can be read before that one if you like.
“Happy Birthday dear Edward…”
“Happy Birthday to you…”
…….. Oh shit.
I didn’t really have time to feel the guilt I should have felt. David had his arms around me from behind holding me tightly, his head on my shoulder and he was singing along with everyone else. I wondered for a moment if he was holding me so tightly as a sign of affection or to prevent my escape.
I’d never been thrown a surprise party before and I was genuinely surprised (read shocked). It was Christmas-eve-eve and my birthday is actually Boxing Day. David had floated the idea of a birthday party for me on Christmas-eve-eve weeks before but than talked himself and me out of it (the liar). There was a lot going on. Christmas Eve dinner with my foster family, Christmas Day up the coast with his family and a birthday party with my foster family on Boxing Day as well as David (if he is to be believed) having an important university summer school essay to finish. (We are in Brisbane Australia so Christmas is in the middle of Summer here). He’d said instead that he’d take me out for a quiet romantic dinner to celebrate my birthday later.
I’d been taken to live with my grandparents when I was a little kid after my parents were convicted of armed robbery and GBH and sent to prison, but it was out of the frying pan into the fire. My mother’s parents were just as bad as mine. We lived out in the outskirts of Sydney; a mix of small farms and new housing estates as suburbia slowly encroached. They grew flowers in long semi-circular greenhouses to be sold at market for florists. Though the green houses were mainly filled with varieties of Rosa Hybrida, the back halves of seven and eight were filled with pots of Cannabis Sativa.
But I wish they had kept some for themselves because they were both extremely tense, aggressive and violent people. On top of that my grandfather was an alcoholic. Weirdly they went to church every Sunday. I don’t want to talk too much about my life with them and sometimes I still tell myself that it was my fault as much as it was theirs despite the fact that various counsellors and psychologists have tried to drum into my head that it wasn’t.
I didn’t go to school very often. Sometimes because I didn’t want to, sometimes because my grandmother wouldn’t let me go until the bruises faded. I’d run away many times but always come back on my own after a day or two because I didn’t know where to go or what to do. My grandparents never reported me missing for obvious reasons.
Finally I ran away for good. I took the train in to downtown Sydney. There are lots of homeless people there. I kind of made friends with some of them. They looked after me as best they could, found me books to read, somewhere to sleep, but they all had their own problems. I’d had to outrun the cops a few times after people had reported me begging at Wynyard station and being obviously too young to be on my own. Finally I was caught.
I thought I would be taken to the police station and locked up until my grandparents came to get me but I was taken straight to a hospital. They took blood tests, x-rays, let me have a hot shower and then gave me something to eat. I thought it was very strange but I was so grateful. I was hungry.
Only after I’d eaten did a psychologist come to talk to me. The x-rays showed that a bone in my arm had been fractured a while ago and it had healed naturally but slightly out of alignment. I remembered that. She asked me about it. I told her everything. Every single thing. I knew that the big mirror on the wall was probably one-way and that someone, probably the police would be behind it, listening, probably recording. I didn’t care.
A few weeks later it was on the news. My grandparents had been arrested as well as some big drug kingpin bikie gang leader who had been caught buying their crop. They were charged with a lot of things. They were in to more than I knew. They were also charged with child neglect. I didn’t have to testify in court. I was too young anyway but it was decided that it would be better if I left Sydney. I even got to change my surname.
So I moved here to Brisbane. I was bounced around for a while before finally being introduced to Gladys and Adam, my new foster parents. I don’t know if it was because I was mentally mature enough or because of them, probably a combination of both, but we just clicked. There are six other kids, all much younger than me but who have all been through very much the same as I have. I think it only took me a week to fall in love with them all. I still had problems but my whole body and mind screamed “finally a home!”.
That surprise party was for my nineteenth birthday. I’d technically been out of foster care for a year but I wouldn’t dream of leaving. Nearly ataşehir escort bayan everything I earned in my part-time job as a cleaner at the mall went to the kids. To give them things I never had myself growing up.
That was three years ago but I still have problems opening up to people. There remained a hard shell around my heart. I was seeing a psychologist every month and I still do less often. Then six months ago I met David. I was going to a college for mature age students and people in my situation where I could catch up on my school QCE with only a year of study. Some of the people in my class organised a camping trip for a few days during the break. A few friends and relatives tagged along. David was one of them.
I will write another story about that trip some time. I’d never related to another person sexually. This sounds really bad but the only person I’d been sexually attracted to, that I’d had sex with in a sense, was myself. I didn’t know I was gay. I’d assumed without evidence that I was straight. We couldn’t keep our eyes off each other. I moved into his tent. I lost my virginity with him. Completely. We sucked each other. We fucked each other. I swallowed his sperm. He swallowed mine. I came inside his arse. He came inside mine.
But as I said in the previous story, we’d never discussed monogamy though we referred to each other as boyfriends. He’d asked me to get tested, to go on prep. I did, but why did he ask? I’d been with other guys since then, mainly quickies in the staff toilets of the mall where I work. But I love him. I feel gratitude to him.
And then I’d fallen too hard for his lies that I realised now were just to trick to get me out of his flat for the surprise birthday partly. I’d been pissed off. He’d promised to come walking with me to see the Christmas lights on the houses in his neighbourhood. It was the last night possible. He told me to go by myself because he had a stupid essay to finish. I only made it around the corner before a hot sparky named Brad up a ladder fixing the lights on his house had dropped his screwdriver and called out to me to give him a hand. One thing led to another, then another, then I was on my knees, bent over his sofa, with his alarmingly large penis up my arse.
So when the singing ended, the laughing and clapping at my stunned expression died down, I said,
“Thanks guys,” then twisted around in David’s arms and kissed him.
“You arsehole,” I said smiling into his face as I broke the kiss but I knew I was the arsehole. (In fact I could still feel the ache there after being well and truly stretched not long earlier by Brad.) We kissed again and everyone laughed and clapped.
All of my friends from my QCE class were there. David’s older sister Beck was one of them and she had probably contacted them, though we were all mutual FB friends. I’d become friends with some of David’s friends too. Dangerously Fareed was there with another cleaner from my work. (Fareed is a hot young Lebanese security guard at the mall who despite being married has fucked me a few times in the staff toilets.) David must have contacted him via FB too.
We were all packed into David’s small flat almost like sardines. I mingled from group to group with a beer in my hand though I still hadn’t completely got over Brad’s vodka and cranberry. David and Beck were mostly in the kitchen getting frozen canapés in and out of the oven and then bringing them out.
Occasionally there was a buzz on the intercom. David ran from the kitchen and pressed the button to allow some late-comer in though the downstairs door, then we would wait in anticipation for the new arrival to press the doorbell.
I thought I knew everyone at the party but when I followed David into the kitchen to get a glass of water and to spend some time with him, I saw a guy lurking in there, helping with the cooking. He looked very familiar and for a second it played with my mind because I couldn’t remember who he was.
“Oh Edward, I don’t think you’ve met Sam yet. He’s our cousin,” said David on behalf of himself and his sister Beck but there was a strange artificiality in his tone of voice.
I stepped forward, he offered his hand and I took it. I looked into his eyes and saw the same dark green eyes that David has.
“Wow. I can definitely see the family resemblance!” I said amazed.
“Yes when they were kids they were dead ringers,” said Beck.
David and Sam stood beside each other smiling at me. I guess I had a stunned look on my face. They were indeed fucking identical; same facial features, same height, same body structure, except for the hair but even in that, they were weirdly similar. David has dark auburn hair but his eyebrows and the rest of the hair on his body (yes of course I’d examined it ALL) is almost black. Sam looked blond. It was darker underneath but it looked natural. He also had dark eye brows and I couldn’t help wondering what the rest of him was like.
“They escort kadıöy still are,” I said breathlessly. I think I’ve neglected to mention that my boyfriend David is HOT HOT HOT and now there were two of them!
“Sam’s family is visiting from up in Bundy (Bundaberg) for Christmas. They’re staying with Beck and my parents,” said David, still smiling at the amazed look on my face.
“So you’re Dave’s boyfriend?” Sam asked me still smiling.
“Yeah,” I said with another pang of guilt.
“Well it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I glanced at David. He’d never mentioned to me that he had a near identical cousin. I also thought he didn’t like being called “Dave” just as much as “Eddy” annoyed me. Adam, my foster-dad was the only person who got away with it.
“Oh I hope it’s not all bad?” I replied.
He just laughed. I was sort of expecting a denial.
“Well its nice to meet you too,” I said when I realised it wasn’t coming.
Awkward, but I was called back out into the living room by some of my QCE friends. Fareed was telling them a story about something I’d done at work that nearly got me sacked (not really, it was just a show my boss put on to satisfy a customer) and they wanted me to confirm the details.
This is probably getting off track in this story but most of my job is cleaning up after customers at the food court in a shopping mall. It is sort of encouraged that customers clean their trays into the bins when they are finished eating though in reality, it’s sometimes better for us if they don’t because then we can tell what tables we need to wipe down.
But there is a cafe in the food court too that serves coffee and cakes on proper ceramic cups and saucers. Surely you would have to be a complete fuck wit to clean your tray into the bin when you have proper cups and plates on it? Anyway I told a customer just that and she complained to Centre Management about me. Customers are always right apparently no matter how stupid they are. (My super told me later that if he’d been there he would have said the same thing and that the incident wouldn’t go on my employee record).
Surprisingly I saw that Sam had come out of hiding in the kitchen and was standing beside me and laughing at Fareed’s jokes. I realised that he was pretty shy and was staying in the kitchen with David and Rebecca because he knew them. Fareed is one of those annoyingly outgoing people who tries to draw shy people into the conversation by asking questions and I felt a little sorry for Sam because he was caught in that situation. I rescued him by changing the subject.
I feel a little sorry and confused by Fareed and sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t met David that something similar might have happened to me. He’s from a traditional Lebanese Christian family and he got married when he was only eighteen and has two children. It was an arranged marriage and he went along with it happily. He told me once that he was relieved when his family found a girl for him because he would never have done it himself. He now knows that he’s completely gay but keeps it a secret from nearly everyone. In fact he told me that I’m the only guy who he knows by name who knows he’s gay and who he’s had sex with non-anonymously.
Of course that is sad but it also meant that there was no chance that he’d tell David or anyone at the party that he’d several times fucked me in the mall staff toilets.
Eventually David emerged from the kitchen with a birthday cake with lit candles. Someone dimmed the lights and everyone sang happy birthday again. The candles were blown out, the cake was cut up and shared around and after people finished eating it was sort of the sign that the party was over and they started to leave. Sam and Beck retreated to the kitchen to start cleaning up while David and I said goodbye to everyone as they left.
“I hope you two are not driving all the way back to Caloundra tonight?” I asked Beck and Sam as we returned to the kitchen. Sam’s family were down from Bundy for Christmas and were staying with David and Beck’s family up the coast at Caloundra.
“No, I’m staying at a friend’s place,” said Beck.
Sam said nothing but just looked at David.
“Oh, I’ve asked Sam to sleep here tonight,” said David looking at me as if he needed my approval. I’d assumed that I would be staying over that night and that we’d probably fuck but I supposed we could be quiet and Sam could sleep on the sofa.
“Cool,” I said.
“Cool!” I said again, trying to sound a little less confused and a little more enthusiastic. I noticed that Beck looked confused too.
After we cleaned up David’s flat Beck left. Sam went downstairs with her to get his stuff out of her car. I was still confused. It really looked like David wanted to ask for my permission to let his cousin stay in his flat. It’s David’s flat. Not mine. I don’t live there. I live with my foster family. David asked me to move in with him but I said maltepe escort no. He knows and understands my reasons. Adam, Gladys and the kids are my first real loving family. My first real home. I want it to last. I don’t want to leave at the first opportunity.
While Sam was downstairs getting his bag I had a chance to talk to David alone.
“I haven’t had a chance to thank for the party David. No one has ever thrown me a surprise party before. It made me very happy.”
“You sure? You looked like you were about to throw up when you saw all the people,” he said laughing. He came over to me and took me in his arms and looked into my eyes.
“Yeah well it was a shock.”
“Anyway, you should finally realise by the number of people that turned up what people think about you.”
David had been on about this topic ever since I’d met him. Even after all the love I’d had thrown at the over the last four years, given my childhood it was still hard to accept that people cared about me.
“And you must have had some clue Edward,” he continued. “I was acting very strange and shitty to make you leave.”
“Well yeah, you were, but I had no idea. I’m guessing you don’t have any essay to rewrite?”
He just laughed.
“So what’s the story with Sam? Why haven’t you told me that you have a doppelgänger and why were you acting so strangely. You know you don’t have to ask my permission to let him stay here. It’s you flat and he’s your cousin.”
“Ah. It’s complicated. We’ve got a history. I’ll tell you about it when he gets back.”
“Oh, so mysterious,” I said. He kissed me and let me go but he still seemed weirdly nervous when I mentioned Sam.
“I’m just going to get a quick shower. I’m feeling a bit sticky after all that work in the kitchen,” he said.
“Yeah me too.” I replied. “It’s going to be hard to sleep tonight with this humidity.”
“Well you go first Edward. It will be better if I’m here when Sam gets back. He’s a bit shy. Two introverts alone in my flat together. I’d never get the awkwardness out of the carpet,” he said laughing at his own joke.
I kept some clean clothes for lounging around at David’s flat because I spent the night there once or twice every week and sometimes I went straight there from the mall or my college. I got some boxer shorts and a white tee-shirt and went into the bathroom. When I took my briefs off, even though I’d showered quickly after Brad had fucked me earlier, there were still cum stains on the front and the back. Brad’s huge cock had really stretched me and when I was walking back I felt like I could feel his semen leaking out of me. Now I could see that it was true. I felt my anus and pushed my finger in but it felt normal though I could still feel a dull ache. I sat on the toilet for a while to make sure nothing more would come out and then I had a shower.
When I finished, I got dressed, put my clothes in the bedroom and then walked down the short hall to the living room. I was surprised that the flat was so quiet and I wondered where everyone was but when I looked in the kitchen, I saw David and Sam, in each other’s arms, kissing.
I was really shocked and upset. I know that is hypocritical. They must have sensed that I was there. They broke away from each other quickly and looked at me. I couldn’t handle it. I turned and ran back to the bedroom, closed the door and locked it. I got my clothes and started getting dressed. Seconds later I heard the door handle move and then knocking.
“Edward? Are you okay? I wanted to talk to you about this,” said David thought the door.
I ignored him. I couldn’t help tears forming in my eyes.
“Edward, please let me in. It’s not what you think. Let me explain. What are you doing?”
“I’m getting dressed!” I said, my voice breaking. “I think I should go home.”
“Come on Edward. Don’t be like this. I meant to tell you about Sam earlier. It’s complicated. You must know how much I love you.”
“Well it looks to me like you love someone else!”
There was a long pause and then,
“I do,” he said. “I do love Sam. He’s my cousin. We grew up together but you’re right. It’s more than that. We lost our virginity with each other. We’ve always been together as cousins, friends and yes as lovers. But that doesn’t mean I love you any less. I know that might seem weird to you but it’s not to me. That’s why I wanted to explain. I’m sorry you found out like this.”
“Edward,” it was Sam’s voice. “Ever since he met you he talks about nothing else but you. He really does love you Edward. To tell you the truth, he’s said so much about you, I was starting to feel… And today I finally met you. I see what he means. You’re a beautiful sensitive twink, mature well beyond your age…”
I didn’t know quite how to take that.
“And I want to know you like Dave knows you. I know it’s complicated. We’ve both had boyfriends but we’ve always still loved each other. Neither of us has ever understood why we can’t be in love with more than one person at a time. The truth is that we’ve never told our boyfriends about the nature of our relationship but David wanted to tell you. You are the first. You are different Edward. I really hope I haven’t stuffed it all up by coming here.”
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